Why is your child often naughty
Is your child naughty? Crying, stamping with your feet, and even scenes in the middle of the street are situations familiar to many parents. Sometimes no nerves are enough to withstand the behavior of a young dictator. Why are children mischievous? Are there any universal recipes for the correct reaction of adults to children's moods, what are their typical mistakes - the advice of children's psychologists will help to cope.
Whims of the smallest
Even a completely calm, docile child sometimes shows character, discontent, expressed by crying, tears and disobedience. What do you want? He is not a catchy toy, but a personality - even if it’s just a crumb, but already having its own desires and needs. Parents usually encounter the first whims of their offspring by the end of the first year of life. And often they are simply lost, unable to understand what is happening.
The first reason for the vagaries - the growing needs of the baby.
Came the first crisis in the life of the crumbs. The needs of the child have increased, he has learned to walk, and the boundaries of an interesting but not yet known world have expanded. Everything needs to be studied, touched, stroked, chewed, quit, get.
In response, however, often continuous prohibitions and barriers are not allowed in there, they are not allowed, they are taken away. The actions of mom and dad, of course, due to the concern for the safety of the baby. But the child wants to learn something new, and not to sit in an arena or chair. The protest is expressed by a scream! And we think - the crumb is naughty.
Parenting actions:hide all objects that are dangerous or undesirable for the child, leaving in the area of access what you can play without harm. Toys bother, and to rattle pots and spoons in the kitchen is so interesting! And let him rattle. (Nobody suggests using zepter kits for this purpose, but you can select old dishes.)
Do not interfere with the young researcher, give the opportunity to show independence. Let the breakfast porridge be spread on the table and on the floor. But so the baby learns to wield a spoon.
In the meantime, the mother is preparing dinner, the child can be given bowls of cereal: let them pour, dig, take out objects hidden inside - perfectly develop fine motor skills.
The second reason is that the child cannot yet express his needs in words.
Only Ellochka-cannibal was content with a modest vocabulary and she completely missed 30 words.A normal child wants to express his wishes, intentions to do something, to receive, but he is not very successful at that. And adults do not understand, so he is naughty. So the behavior of the offspring is perceived by the parents, in fact, this is an accessible way for the kid at this stage to express his needs.
The boardto parents: show patience, try to understand what the baby wants.
You will need to be observant - the crumb suddenly refuses the pot, and he was already accustomed. Perhaps one day the toilet item turned out to be cold, the baby experienced discomfort, and while bathing he didn’t like the temperature of the water, he protests against the bath and is capricious. There may be many such moments, adults will have to guess about some of their own omissions.
An important task is to develop the child’s speech. If the kid has already learned some words, encourage their use. For example, Zhenya knows the word “Lala”, her mother tries to give her daughter a doll only if she calls a toy, and not just shows her finger. And be sure to praise when the baby is trying to talk.
Reason Three: Child’s Illness
Explain that it hurts, the baby can not, capricious behavior is quite understandable bad feeling.
The child became easily excitable, lost his appetite, whiny - take a closer look, take the temperature, conduct an inspection, put something on guard - go to the pediatrician.
Advice to parents: be extremely patient and affectionate with a sick child, because it is bad for him, he will obviously be capricious. But do not overdo it - busting gifts, sweets, new toys, indulging whims can do a disservice: the kid will understand how much attention he gets when he is sick and may resort to simulation.
Reason Four: Emotional Overexcitement
Most often it is characteristic of active and easily excitable children. An excess of impressions and events of the day provokes evening whims. It is difficult for a baby to relax and fall asleep.
Parenting: If such conditions are repeated systematically, consult with a children's neurologist.
Before going to bed, try to walk with your child, two hours before bedtime, reduce physical activity, take calm games, read a book.
Growing baby - new moods
The child grows, develops, over time there are new causes of vagaries.
To achieve his
Quite a few little things were forbidden, and the two-year-olds are already trying to impose some kind of prohibitions and rules of behavior. The protest reaction is obvious, the word "no" causes whims.The child is used to getting what he wants, why suddenly he is forbidden to do something?
Recommendations to parents: try to behave calmly, do not be annoyed, do not take off at the cry and in no case spank the baby. Wait until it breaks through, at this moment it is useless to try to explain something.
Spectators and sympathizers only add emotions: do not react to shouts, tears and stamping with their feet. The child will eventually understand - the whims of mom and dad do not really act.
It is quite natural that a growing child manifests his desires and preferences. They decide for him all the time: milk oatmeal is good for breakfast, Vanya will eat borsch for lunch, put on this striped warm sweater, corduroy trousers for a walk, and go for a walk to the nearest park. And Vanechka already has his wishes, so he is naughty.
Advice to parents: give your child a choice, respect the manifestations of his personal opinion.
Reaction to the family environment
Children acutely feel the microclimate of the family, the mood of the parents. Are you too emotional, temperamental, or are you used to solving problems with the help of rising tones, disputes and scandals with relatives? Do not be surprised by the moodiness of your offspring.
How to be: control your feelings and actions, set a positive example, create a friendly, relaxed atmosphere in the family.
Test limits allowed
A child who is curious about almost everything may be interested in such a question: if I cry, scream, disobey, will Mom eventually be allowed to go for a walk? Did dad buy a new gun? He seems to be experiencing the power of his influence on you - is it possible to make parents dance to their tune.
The reaction of the parents: take the research activity with a slight amount of irony - what is our persistent Misha. But do not indulge a whim. Give up - know: the young tyrant will always seek his own.
Why is a child of 4–5 years naughty
Children of this age already see more, understand, appreciate, emotions get deeper
Restructuring of the psyche
Conflicts arise not only with relatives - the child is capricious in response to prohibitions, shows aggression, protests, but, not yet understanding his feelings, he unconsciously conflicts with himself. Mood spoils, negative feelings appear.
Parents' actions: exercise restraint and patience,try to figure out the cause of the whims of observation and calm conversation, to entrap the child in some way, to switch attention to an interesting occupation.
Lack of attention
The baby gets more attention, and the maturing child begins to feel its deficiency. He wants to communicate more with loved ones, to be, as before, the center of the universe.
What to do: let the child understand - you love him very much, he is just such an adult, he can occupy himself, he has friends, and mom and dad no longer need to hold his hand like a little one. Frequently ask for help to make something available around the house, praise for help.
Consequences of excessive indulgence in whims
Parents often think that the baby can do everything, grow up, he will understand the requirements and prohibitions of adults. And when an accustomed child does not know the refusal, the child suddenly encounters some “no” and “no”, problems begin.
Tips for parents: time, of course, missed. But not hopeless. You have to talk on equal terms with the grown up kid: to explain clearly why throwing toys before (loudly beating the drum, when he pleases, getting into the dad's hands, when he works at the computer, etc.) was allowed, and now suddenly not allowed.
5-year-old Kirill arranged scenes whenever his mother was distracted by talking on the phone, talking on walks with other mothers. It took a lot of effort to explain - you are no longer a kid, you must understand that adults have their own business, at this time you can swing on a swing, play with friends.
Recommendations to parents
A child is naughty at any age, there are universal recommendations to parents, helping to deal with unwanted behavior of children.
- Sequence. It is impossible today to allow fathers to take instruments (as long as he is not at home, otherwise they will swear), and to prohibit tomorrow. To a child such impermanence is incomprehensible. The consistent prohibition of some actions will help the child to realize that this is not necessary.
- Explanation of reasons for refusal. Talk to your children - tell us calmly and easily: mom forbids Vova to run barefoot in a puddle, you can catch a cold and get sick, you have to lie in bed and drink medicine. Better go home for rubber boots, and then you can walk on the water.
- Unity requirements in the family. Dad strict, he does not allow to jump on the bed, and my mother allows. Parents will not buy another ice cream, no matter how much cry, and grandmother - easily, you just have to stomp their feet.Such confusion and vacillation in the family provokes the manipulation of the child. He will quickly understand on whom whims act and from whom the desired can be achieved.
- Schooling to the discipline: do not be surprised when your child does not particularly listen, is naughty, and staying with a nanny or being in kindergarten, behaves quite adequately. You indulge him, you often break the regime of the day, you allow a lot. Here is the result.
4-year-old Sasha, accustomed to the order established by the nanny (not immediately, of course: it took some time and some effort), quietly went to bed at lunchtime, ate in time, willingly engaged. And at the weekend, refused the usual mode of the day. After all, her parents indulged her whims, the girl knew perfectly well who could be commanded, and whom it was better to obey. By the way, without coercion, but out of habit for a certain discipline.
- The ability to switch attention: it is important to learn to distract a child from crying and stomping with legs - by trial, by turning on fantasy. Someone will react to the emotional mother's - oh, Innochka, and who is hiding there, let's go and see; Dima, carry the bottle soon, we will collect tears; Some of the children will be distracted by a bright new book or toy, an offer to play the game they love the baby, and bake a cake with the mother (the child, of course,will be the main assistant).
- Lack of dictates. All sorts of categorical “I said - no!”, “Don't go there!”, “Quickly stop crying!”, “Come to me immediately!” Are excluded. Unreasonable rigidity provokes in the child anxiety, complexes, creates fears. And, surprisingly, the vagaries of such behavior of parents becomes only more. A child must not only love but also respect his freedom, listen to his opinion.
- Demonstration of love. Do not be afraid to show you love your child. It is very important for him to feel this - your words and gestures (hugs, kisses) give the kid a feeling of confidence and security. Do not confuse real, sincere expressions of love with “love”, when exorbitant admiration for a child and baby talk: “Our Musya is the most beautiful and beloved” and the fulfillment of all his desires only harm parenting.
Children's whims, of course, are still a test of parental patience and wisdom. It is difficult to strike a balance between love, tenderness, over-trust and reasonable exactingness.
It is difficult not to succumb to the manipulations of the little tyrant, but we are not going to raise a capricious, spoiled creation.Find your method of proper upbringing, not forgetting the proven experience of the advice of family psychologists.
7 ways to distract the child from the caprice game: